[racked]

There's another way to look at this. When your partner has had many previous partners, it means that you are extra special, because even after all that prior experience, they choose you!

And about longevity, if you ask me, the most important factors for a solid relationship are:

1. Being completely comfortable around each other. No grudges. Being able to talk about anything, even if you don't always agree.

2. (related to #1) Having a mechanism for resolving conflict. Avoiding things like the silent treatment.

[distant_hat]

Knowing many women who had north of 50-100 partners, 'extra special' certainly isn't the case. Usually they are settling down because no one wants to stick with them and you are likely to be the next one who will abandon them. If this logic made sense, sex workers would be the most sought after partners.

[quotz]

I know a few girls who had more than 50 partners and they are all basically girls you would not even consider for a one night stand, let alone date.

[drekipus]

I say that for every house plant that died in my care. "You're the special one, #237, it's you and me bud."

[kaba0]

If there were 23 relationships that is indeed a red flag. But casual sex is not a relationship, no sin and no one should be condemned for that.

[Levitz]

This points to another worrying trend I've seen among teenagers and 20-something people. I've often seen them commenting how they have had absolutely ridiculous amounts of relationships, like a 24 year old saying she has had 11 boyfriends.

It's like casual sex has become to prevalent that they think that's what a stable relationship is. I can't really fathom the logic.

[kaba0]

You are extrapolating way too much from your limited data — in fact, younger generations have less sex than those before, as per a study linked in this thread.

[wiseowise]

> When your partner has had many previous partners, it means that you are extra special, because even after all that prior experience, they choose you!

…that’s not how it works.

[heattemp99]

They did not "choose you". They could not get any of the others to commit.

[Cthulhu_]

That's... really making a lot of assumptions. What do you mean by "get any of the others to commit"? That's saying the woman in question had to apply force, and that it was ultimately the other's fault they didn't settle.

I can go on, but, it sounds like you and many others in this subthread have some really weird and ingrained manosphere-sounding ideas about women and relationships.

[Levitz]

Let's cut it 50/50, let's say she has broken up in 11 occasions. Does it really make sense for you to consider that she has a good eye for compatibility? To trust her judgement that she will stay with you?

[fakedang]

It just means that you were the easiest one she could settle with, and likewise who chose to settle down with her.

[wruza]

A popular statistical advice is to meet N people (30..100), determine the level of “bestness” (ignoring extraordinary anomalies) and then to continue until you find something like that again. Calculating chances of being that last person is left as an exercise to the reader.

[331c8c71]

Somewhat interesting as a model, completely irrelevant as a guiding principle in real life (imo)...