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I feel this often with peers and at my workplace. If there is something that I don't understand I try to come up with possible explanations. If it's about something that is frowned upon or unpopular then I often feel how people get defensive and think I want to justify the thing or expose them for not knowing something. I don't. I just want to understand and maybe get something helpful out of it, maybe learn something about others or myself in the process. But I feel I'm in a minority with this thinking and it's a great source for all kinds of misunderstandings. I guess we all have our blind spots, otherwise I could understand the persons that I described. Ultimately I think practicing compassion is key.