[evandale]

I didn't beat anything into submission.

I set ground rules and gave her safe ways to be upset. If she misbehaved she lost privileges she enjoys.

I never neglected her if that's what you're trying to get at. That's a pretty low-blow to accuse me of based on what I wrote. Be better.

Obviously locking children in rooms isn't right. How about this, instead of locking kids in a room, you could try making a toy room and locking them OUT if they're misbehaving. Is that inhumane torture? That's basically what I did with my cat.

[IanCal]

"beating into submission" is a phrase that does not mean physically beating.

> I never neglected her if that's what you're trying to get at.

If you did that to a child it would be neglect, that is the point. Children aren't cats.

It is more complex with a child. It's easier when they're a baby, but increasingly more subtle as they get older. Nobody is saying you can't take things away from them or set boundaries, but you're talking about very simple things that may work with very young children but aren't enough as they get older.

"Do as I say because I am the boss" is just not good enough. Maybe you'll get compliance but that's not enough if you want a healthy relationship with your child as they grow.

[evandale]

> If you did that to a child it would be neglect, that is the point. Children aren't cats.

I would never do that to a child. Even if they had a bowl of food and water and a toilet in the room I wouldn't expect them to be able to take care of themselves. That sounds like something a psychopath would do. Stop straw-manning me, it's incredibly rude, and against the rules. You bring down the discourse of this site when you quote 5 words from a paragraph and leave the rest of the context out. Plus you are not even quoting me directly yet you're using quotes. Stop doing that as well please.

> "Do as I say because I am the boss" is just not good enough.

When did I make that argument?

For the record, I don't believe you should tell children that. I don't understand the difficulty in telling them "The iPad broke and you are not getting another one because you can't take care of it properly. Perhaps you'll get a new one at Christmas." when they break their iPad.

That's what I consider being a boss. Saying those words does not seem difficult to me.

[c22]

You brought up your anecdote about your cat in a thread about children and child-rearing. It's absurd to accuse people of straw-manning you just for assuming you meant to draw parallels between children and cats.

[em-bee]

it's not "Do as I say because I am the boss", it is "stop your behavior because it is not appropriate". children need to have boundaries. if those boundaries are crossed there must be consequences. when my kids argue over who gets to use the computer, i take the computer away until they calm down and settle their disagreement.