[matrix_overload]

There's no dissonance. You just need to completely ignore what people say, and make your own high-quality model of what they do. Here's a hint: study different personality types, model how they set their personal goals and what makes them happy.

You'll end up with a very cynical model, where most people can't plan one and a half step ahead, and can be easily convinced to do very dumb things. But, like it or not, that's how society works. And every successful person has figured out, and is ruthlessly abusing this model.