[anonymouse008]

If I could humbly offer an addendum, Anger's message is usually 'tell me what's really at issue here, and let's become a master of change'

From what I've seen Anger is rarely ever 'justified' (and if it is, it's usually a primal self defense) - so let's call this "Emotional Anger" to remove the murkiness of imminent danger. At a high level, EA usually pairs deep helplessness with an inadequacy.

A profound shift in my life has to been to ask questions aimed at the locus of change w.r.t. EA, 'so what exactly is the harm here? what am I trying to defend internally? why am I not calmly moving through the steps as a master who has seen all this before? if it's truly urgent, what are the ways to protect myself from the fallout should the change not arise? if it is truly helpless, why am I not changing my life? Am I addicted to this feeling? ...'

[antonkar]

I can recommend this book. The most influential psychologist of our times explains the mechanics of anger. The basic idea is that we interpret the benign things like mistakes or tiredness of others as intentional and become angry at them. Our evolution predisposes us to interpret neutral events as intentionally directed against us. We can change that https://www.amazon.com/Prisoners-Hate-Cognitive-Hostility-Vi...

[lovelyviking]

Seriously? This is what offers most influential psychologist of our time?

So when an aggressor throws bomb and it is falling near by merely killing a person then one should not interpret it as intentional and should not become angry on those who through such things, right?

According to your description of the basic idea one should not interpret falling bombs on his head as directed against him. It’s just a neutral event and probably some boys just having fun with throwing heavy things … including bombs.

Perhaps people in Ukraine are unfamiliar with great works of this ‘most influential psychologist of our time’ and thus managed to survive and fight back.

[dang]

"Please respond to the strongest plausible interpretation of what someone says, not a weaker one that's easier to criticize. Assume good faith." - https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

You've been breaking the site guidelines in other places as well, unfortunately. If you wouldn't mind reviewing https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html and taking the intended spirit of the site more to heart, we'd be grateful.

[jrvarela56]

Really? That reply triggers you and all you have to show for is a strawman about getting angry bc bombs?

The concept is that most negative day-to-day occurrences are not ill-intended so your anger is probably misguided. Putting this into practice can improve your quality of live.

[antonkar]

Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend anyone. It’s just hard to summarize a whole book in a comment. The war against Ukraine is not just anger, it’s a full scale aggression.