| There are no hard and fast rules. Every such child is unique. We got through by being as flexible as possible. We had a very small number of hard and fast rules, nearly all of which were to try to ensure everyone lived and stayed sane, and which we worked out during periods when everyone was calm. For instance, I would take my daughter and drive around with her for a couple of hours on Sunday afternoon so my wife could sleep. I did that every Sunday for about two years. My wife and I had a work schedule that we mostly stuck to. We traded off housework. We traded off who handled the night terrors so at least one of us was rested the next day. But in general, just being rigid only caused things to get worse. So we weren't. We slept when we could, ate when and what we could, and focused on making it to tomorrow. We also weren't afraid to experiment - a little - with medication. Daughter went on meds to help calm the meltdowns and night terrors. Wife went on antidepressants. Yes, having a toddler on psychiatric meds is problematic, but so is have three 2-hour-long night terrors every night for a year. Daughter is now a 23 year old young women who is amazing, a joy to be around, kind and fierce at the same time, with a solid work ethic and a life plan. She's a bit behind academically, but as we keep telling her, this isn't a race. She wants to do green architecture. |