[thissitesucks]

> Having css3 query support in legacy browsers is awesome.

No it isn't as you send all of the supporting junk code to the newer browsers that don't need it.

> Not to mention productivity gains from method chaining and batch assignment such as $('.somehting').find('*').css({'font-weight': 'bold'});

Chaining has nothing to do with queries.

> Do you really want to type the 10-20 lines of JS that are required to make that happen? I don't.

Then learn to write (cross-browser) functions that fit your needs. Leave the ham-fisted queries alone.