[sltkr]

You are missing the point: saying that some preferences are problematic while others are not by itself creates an unfair double standard, even if you pay lip-service to the idea of individual right to consent. When a man rejects a woman because she's obese, that's problematic. When a woman rejects a man because he's short, that's not problematic.

I also find it sexist that both examples of racial preferences involve men, when it's well-established that women have stronger racial preferences than men, for example, white women prefer white men over Asian men (the least desirable group of men) by a much larger margin than white men prefer white women over Black women (the least desirable group of women). You could probably do the Grindr experiment on Tinder and find that the white man has an easier matching with women than the Asian man (especially if "Asian" means "Indian man" and not "K-pop idol dreamboat").

It's also strange to focus on men, when women are the pickier gender, especially when it comes to sex but to lesser extent also when it comes to dating. Even the undesirable black woman probably has an easier time hooking up than most white men.

Of course, it all makes sense when you realize that most modern-day feminists are only interested in pointing out the “problematic” behavior of men and how it impacts women, and never the other way around.

Finally, you phrased it as “THE problematic aspects of sexuality in our society” but the crux is that defining WHICH aspects are problematic is itself subjective and political. In Western society feminism dominates the institutions, so we get the result that "men rejecting black women" is problematic and "women rejecting Asian men" is not problematic. Of course, this isn't at all objective.

[vacuity]

The double standards are real, and I say that as someone who is quite leftist (as vague of a term as it is, I think the general meaning is understood). The social justice warriors overshot in terms of equality. The inequal treatment of domestic violence in the US is also a big issue. Not that any domestic violence should be tolerated, but men are often abused and powerless to report it.