[thetron]

I agree with you.

Whenever I've been in seriously challenging situations at work, having real, deep, personal relationships with my team made it far easier to have difficult conversations.

Forging real bonds gives you a foundation that you can actually build a strong team on top of: you can have tough conversations from a position of empathy and compassion; and if you need people to just "get it done", it's much easier to ask a friend to do you a solid and just get the work over the line.

[jmye]

> it's much easier to ask a friend to do you a solid and just get the work over the line.

Not just that, but people are willing to go above and beyond for empathetic leaders without being asked/cajoled/whatever.

Yeah, the article is right that laying off your friends, who likely did nothing wrong, sucks, but I think everything else can be done more or as effectively if you take time to build a better relationship with your team.

[kerkeslager]

In a lot of situations (not every situation) I think the right thing to do is refuse to lay people off. If people above me want to lay someone off, they can look that person in the eye while they do it--I refuse to do harm to others on your behalf because you can't deal with seeing the harm you're causing. "I was just following orders" isn't an excuse for the kind of person I want to be.

Another possibility in situations where it is possible, might be approaching your team and saying, "I've been ordered to lay off one person from this team. None of you deserve to be laid off. I want to discuss if there is anyone who has other opportunities available and how we can help that person land on their feet, and I want to be clear that I can be the one to go if that's the best option."

Of course, either of these decisions happens in a context that has to be considered. For example if you have kids who will legitimately go hungry if you don't lay people off and get fired, you have to balance your responsibility to your coworkers with your responsibility to your kids. There are no silver bullets.

[jmye]

I think that part of my salary and title is being the one to sit with my team and let them know they’ve been laid off, and why. It sucks, but it’s the job. If you don’t want to do it, you shouldn’t be a manager. If you don’t think it should be allowed, you should go work in government or run for office. If you don’t think it should be done, you should start your own company and never make any mistakes and perfectly predict everyone else’s mistakes.

[kerkeslager]

Nice straw man.

This isn't about never making mistakes, it's about taking responsibility for your mistakes when (not if) you make them. If you really have no choice but to lay people off, then you can do it yourself, to their face, with a clear conscience.

People at the top of organizations make the decision to lay people off, but it's middle and lower management that delivers the news. That's not right, and it's part of a pattern in corporations of upper management taking the profits and credit from success, and taking none of the costs or blame for failure. If that's what you want to do, you can do it without me.