Agree. You'll never get a count of all the people who may have been interested in contributing to a project but decided against it because of a COC or language police.
Yep. I keep noticing that places which tell everyone how "inclusive" and "welcoming" and "safe" they are have a strong correlation with being hostile, unsafe spaces where you're walking on eggshells with the implicit threat of dogpiling and vicious character attacks. Nothing says "friendly" like a big list of rules on the front door, and being told "you can feel safe here because we support hunting those unsafe witches!". This applies well beyond just FOSS projects
It's sort of like the stock horror media trope where a community that projects a facade of being a happy utopia is maintained by unspoken but vicious enforcement of conformity
exactly, those who scream loudest about these things tends to be the biggest offenders themselves. There is an old saying: "thief thinks every man steals". This is of course not a 100% rule, but odds are generally good :)
It's sort of like the stock horror media trope where a community that projects a facade of being a happy utopia is maintained by unspoken but vicious enforcement of conformity