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by ryan_lane 1075 days ago
Being proactive in changing the situation isn't toxic positivity, and being empathetic with folks in different jobs isn't toxic positivity either.

Assuming people are assholes, and blaming them for situations is just run of the mill toxic. Working through side-channels rather than addressing a problem is also run of the mill toxic.
1 comments
DropInIn 1075 days ago
Nah your stuff came across as blind tolerance which is just pointless unconstructive and solely to placate people's feelings (in such instances unjustifiable/irrational).

Just because Joe or Judy "feels" a certain way doesn't mean it should actually have bearing on anything. Really...

Enough placating those with the least logic and self control.

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ryan_lane 1075 days ago
This attitude is the kind of engineer stereotype we can live without.

People's feeling matter in the long term, because it's the difference between them wanting to work with you, and them being forced to work with you. If I had to pick between a genius coder with awful people skills, and an average coder with exceptional skills, I'd essentially always pick the average one.

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DropInIn 1074 days ago
Someone's feeling do matter in the long term, which is where it should be dealt with, not in the immediate.

Do you not see the difference?

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ryan_lane 1072 days ago
People's feelings about you are based on a series of accumulated interactions. You can't just "deal with it" later, because that's now how people work. This isn't like tech debt where you can accumulate some and then spend some timing working it down later. If you're consistently an asshole to people, it doesn't matter if you take a little time now and then to try to repair that. Good relationships require taking people's feelings into account and acting consistently.
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DropInIn 1071 days ago
The context of the discussion was accommodating feeling during meetings, right?

Well that's absolutely not the place for it.

If your little fee fees get hurt you keep it to yourself and focus on the task at hand. Then after the task is complete you either pull the offender aside to address the problem or you bring it to a superior to be addressed. It in no way should have any bearing on the work at hand.

This is basics of work place decorum, right?

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