It’s not even necessarily the program, but the nature of research. I liked my advisor a lot and he was helpful but at some point you need to figure out how to fly out of the nest and they can’t do it for you. During my dark period I ended up in an outpatient therapy program because my anxiety was so bad some days I wasn’t leaving my bed. My failure to figure out my problem at the time (even with a good advisor) had eradicated my self-esteem. I came in feeling a vocational calling to do research and I was just not getting anywhere with it.
The two comparisons I always made were a priest, who felt called by god to be a man of the cloth his whole life, losing his faith and the part in Moneyball where Brad Pitts character reflects on skipping college to sign a contract has a hot baseball prospect out of high school, yet being unable to succeed in the bigs.
Eventually, in conjunction with therapy and medication, I reached a critical mass of knowledge where I became, what I’d like to think at least, a good researcher. The process was just painful and I’m not sure how anyone could have made it easier.
The two comparisons I always made were a priest, who felt called by god to be a man of the cloth his whole life, losing his faith and the part in Moneyball where Brad Pitts character reflects on skipping college to sign a contract has a hot baseball prospect out of high school, yet being unable to succeed in the bigs.
Eventually, in conjunction with therapy and medication, I reached a critical mass of knowledge where I became, what I’d like to think at least, a good researcher. The process was just painful and I’m not sure how anyone could have made it easier.