[Ultimatt]

I have a book upstairs I authored that I can go to and be reminded there was a moment my mind was like a samurai sword for one very specific problem. I solved it by holding a thought in my brain consistently for ~3 years straight, and trying everything known and new tricks to solve it. I can barely read my thesis anymore, let alone understand it, the quality of what I did feels almost super human compared to what I've been asked of by the world outside academia. A lot of people who never spent any time post undergrad think its all nonsense, mostly because they meet slacker types. But if you really challenge yourself you will produce something singular and at the best of your ability. It's extremely rare you get that opportunity and support in time to do that anywhere else. Unless your PhD translates to commercial application directly! Perhaps artists with healthy commissions get to feel it. Startup life is similar I guess, but the pressure of commercial success is a very different driving force vs intellectual curiosity and understanding something new in the world. Post PhD I know that if I felt like it I can operate at an incredibly high level intellectually, that I choose not to post PhD is also the other confidence PhD gives you. Most people I know are pretty down to earth post PhD and leaving academia, its ultimately a humbling experience especially if you had fun with mental health during getting it done. You know you can do something, but you also know at what cost to yourself and people around you.