[stevenjgarner]

I offer to buy your position for $2.00 giving you a 100% upside profit and doubling the value of the US stock market. Capitalism is awesome!

[contingencies]

I offer to charge for advice, regardless of its utility. Alternatively, I offer to corrupt the regulatory oversight such that the entire thing becomes a pay-to-play arrangement whereby I am guaranteed a return but no liability for my selfless work.

[boeingUH60]

Post-apocalypse Goldman Sachs CEO.