[mrrthrowaway]

Yes, quite often. I like programming but can't do it for 8 hours per day. I'm not sure how I'm keeping this up, but I am. I do it for like 4 to 5 hours at most.

I know I should count my blessings as programming is an easier job than most (doesn't wear on your body, etc.). I just don't know how I'd be able to work 8 hours per day in any job. I don't want to work. I try myself to get to work because it's not a nice situation to be in, but here I am.

Currently getting away with 25 hours per week. I don't feel guilty. I couldn't bear life if I had to work more. I'm trying to get myself to work more, I just can't.

I don't think it's burnout, I've had this since I was a kid. During college I didn't have it since I was hopeful for rapid career advancement. But FAANG never looked at me, despite the fact that I had a good GPA + side jobs. I just don't see the point in being ambitious. I don't see the point of working more. HN made me too cynical to ever see an employer as my friend. All I know is balancing this tightrope.

I'm learning a lot of random stuff. I like learning a lot of random things, just not one specialty thing. And it's all outside of work. People outside of work think I'm a wonderful person. My colleagues seem to like me too.

Life is weird, whatever. I'll roll with it. I have no other option anyway.

[musicale]

John Carmack would probably be disappointed, but 25 hours of productive tech work in a week, especially at a typical company, sounds pretty good to me.

There's also something to be said for learning things outside the narrow range of work and having a life outside work.

[mrrthrowaway]

Thanks for saying that, I really don't feel good about doing this. But I feel worse if I don't do it.