[MandieD]

When I tell people that, sorry, I don't have WhatsApp, they either look at me like I have a screw loose, or offer to help me install it (I am a middle-aged lady, so technical incompetence must be my excuse). I'd love to see the reaction to pulling out an old-school flip-phone, or providing an obvious land-line number!

That and my avoidance of Facebook didn't really matter until I had a kid and he started nursery school. I somehow got myself elected head of the Parents' Council, but it's been tough dealing with the mental block the slightly-younger generation has for email, and Signal is apparently a little too out there for non-techy 20/30-somethings of either gender.

I'm not as privacy-conscious as you, as I have a fairly recent iPhone; I'd probably be better described as social-media-skeptical, but your right to live a normal life without a smartphone is tied to my right to live a normal life without intrusive social media.

[rex_gallorum2]

I've encountered the WhatsApp issue too. It's the communication tool in some parts of the world, but not others. In some circles people cannot imagine that you are a living breathing person who does not have it.

I use a bottom tier flip phone in the US, and a 13 year old Nokia with a pay-as-you go SIM in Europe.

I've noticed that there has been a generational shift towards smartphone-only communications, but I haven't really had to deal with it. I'd like to hear more about that. Oddly I use some of the same communication tools that young kids use, namely Discord, as it doesn't require a phone number. Linking online accounts and communications to a phone number has always put me off.

[MandieD]

In Germany, WhatsApp is ubiquitous, possibly because when it hit the app stores, a lot of people were still paying per SMS, but had adequate data plans, and offered easy-enough group chats early on that at least felt private.

Also, even a lot of Facebook skeptics have no idea they’re owned and run by the same company…

I think the shift to smartphone-based communication is part of a vicious cycle of people giving up personal use of “real” computers, making a letter-replacement email something more comfortable to conduct as a bunch of short texts, which also have the “benefit” of quicker feedback before having to reveal the next thought.

Even I spent awhile when I first got a smartphone (ca. 2010) feeling like what I typed into or read on the device in an app was more confidential than what I did on a full computer, even though I intellectually understood what an API was and that apps that communicated outside the phone were essentially very niche web browsers. These little devices that fit in our pockets, have cute cases that we picked out, and are cradled in our hands just feel less scary than a desktop or even laptop that can get viruses and throw up cryptic errors and chime accusingly at us when they don’t like something we did.

So now we all have these little tethers that started out being a lot cheaper than a new laptop (but now easily cost $500+)

Early motherhood is particularly good at providing compelling use cases for a smartphone. Baby spending 45 minutes every 2-3 hours leisurely feeding, frantically reaching out to more experienced friends (or your various moms’ groups) for help with a small but urgent problem - much easier to pick up the little device with your free hand than to break out the laptop.

So once the kid is in nursery school at 12-18 months, even if you used to be a laptop user at home, your communications habits have been thoroughly changed.

And since mothers are the main social organizers, their preferred means of communication will dominate. Absolutely no one was interested when I offered to set up a website for the nursery school Parents’ Council, and from the perspective of people mostly ok with Facebook and WhatsApp, I understand the many reasons why.