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by Spooky23 1086 days ago
Your requirements are kind of the issue. You’re looking for a pretty unique woman who is willing to dismiss the idea of having children and wants to be in a long term monogamous relationship. Your career focused 26 year old woman is going to turn 29, wake up and realize she has wasted her time with you.

If that’s a hard requirement for you, date 40+ women who already had children or already know they can’t. Online dating really zeroed out women in this demographic, as they get mostly filtered out except for grandpa or fetishists.
2 comments
virtualritz 1085 days ago
> You’re looking for a pretty unique woman who is willing to dismiss the idea of having children and wants to be in a long term monogamous relationship.

Stereotypes anyone? In my circle of female friends that's not unique but rather the norm.

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Spooky23 1085 days ago
Sounds like it’s not the norm for the dude I was responding to.

Hard and fast filters aren’t good for human relationships.

The point is change it up a bit. Online dating in particular is a business designed to get you pay for online dating. People specify people like they configure a laptop and establish an unachievable vision of the perfect partner.

Imagine discarding a person who was the perfect match for you because she was 5’8” (filter says 5’7” or less) and says maybe kids someday.

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klardotsh 1085 days ago
Kids is an extremely big deal, and equating it with height is frankly ridiculous.

Height is a relatively insignificant matter - whoop de doo, an inch or three here or there, whatever.

Kids cost tens of thousands of dollars a year to raise for 18 years and completely upend what someone is able to do with their life - forever.

IMO it's one of the most important things to filter for - two people who want kids are compatible, one who wants and one who is ambivalent are probably compatible, but someone who never wants them (like yours truly) will never - ever - be able to successfully have a long term relationship with someone who actively wants children. It's a recipe for disaster for one or both partners (and if a kid manages to happen, probably the kid too - last thing the kid needs is to be a resented one).

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klardotsh 1085 days ago
"Wasted" is a strong word - especially when these kinds of things get filtered for early on to avoid exactly that.

Thanks for the input I guess?

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