[lapinot]

Also if 3) if you have the energy to write and maintain some stateful thingy that manages this dynamic peer information you need to pass around. And while doable, a hack in bash won't cut it if you want reliability and the occasional introspection when things go wrong.

It's a no for me.

[tumdum_]

You could try https://nordvpn.com/meshnet/ - it's wireguard, cross platform and meshnet handles everything automatically for you. Also meshnet is free so if you don't want to use vpn you won't have to pay anything.

[vidarh]

A hack in whatever language works just fine, and depending on your setup you may not need any hacks at all - e.g. of you have dynamic DNS and port forwarding set up for one of your peers. It's not a beginner option, but it's an option that is simple for most common setups if you know what you're doing.