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> This is gonna sound a little facetious, but... aren't you also doing the same? Yeah, I am. Can I think of something more masculine (in a positive way, given context from thread) and challenging than being a good father and husband through it all? Maybe, but they're same order of magnitude and direction. > Perpetuation of one's genes is far from selfless. (Unless perhaps one views one's genes as the important entity, and oneself as their mere vessel. But that's too deep for this post.) My genes are not me. The societal pressures here are not to perpetuate and have children any more. At least not in most non-catholic circles (mostly joking). I should be making money, staying fit, finishing my side projects, kicking off a business, DM'ing sessions with friends, fixing up my house, taking up long-distance running, writing engaging linkedin posts, going for long bike rides, continuing boxing training, getting happy hours with my old buddies, blah blah blah. I fight those urges every day, effectively sidelining my hopes and dreams because I'm nurturing one new singular hope: That my kids will have what they need to succeed. Just because I signed up for this when I decided to have kids doesn't mean it isn't challenging to keep it up. Just because my DNA moves on, doesn't mean I don't have to practice an order of magnitude more self discipline than I ever had to before. The payoff went from 1-2 years away for most things I'm usually engaged with with, to 20. I'll be near dead by the time they graduate college and start to have a fully functioning executive center. In that time, most my spare money and time will be spent on another human, with the only external
payoff I can think of being that they might pick me a nice nursing home, and I can post cute pics of them on Facebook, if they don't get shot, run over, or OD on something before then. > Can you think of anything feminine that takes more strength than motherhood I don't think remaining childless takes more strength than motherhood. I think they're different directions, and that's ok. But my wife agrees, it wasn't hard to not have kids for most her life, she just had a good family that accepted her decisions whatever they were. She built a busy and full life, which took work, but it wasn't harder. Not at all. It may be different for others. Everything below '---' is a lot of rhetorical questions, but I generally agree with the sentiment. |