[mathewar]

Here's a few things to try :

1. Ask the meeting organizer if you're needed and why. You'd be surprised how many times meeting organizers just want to include everyone, and don't actually need you.

2. Ask for an agenda from the meeting organizer beforehand. If there isn't one, skip it. Meetings without an agenda before hand have a low value in general.

3. If you're not necessary for a meeting, consider skipping it and reading the notes afterwards.

4. Ask if the meeting will be recorded, so that you can time shift your viewing of it and watch it at 2x.

5. If someone schedules a meeting with you, ask what the question they're trying to answer is beforehand, and if you can reply to them by email, or ideally send them a document or FAQ to refer to - success! You've managed to remove the need for a meeting.

[jollofricepeas]

All of these.

But the most important are:

1. Just don’t go.

2. Fill your calendar with blocks for Engineering and only be available for meetings at certain times of the day. Make sure your managers knows and you should be good.

[wdfx]

1. No. You must communicate before hand if you intend to not attend. To not show up when you are expected is disrespectful to everyone.

[jollofricepeas]

Nah.

Consent matters.

I think it’s more disrespectful to put a meeting on someone’s calendar without an agenda or explaining it’s purpose.

To do so demonstrates that you believe you’re entitled to their time and that your purpose is more important than anything else they had to do at that time.

If you are expected, then that should be communicated before the meeting is scheduled.

For example, a good manager will…

1) tell you during onboarding what/when/where the expected team ceremonies take place.

2) give you at least a heads up via chat before putting a surprise meeting on your calendar

[wdfx]

I also agree with that. It works both ways, both parties should still communicate with each other, but with words and not either entitled or childish actions.