ADHD is one of those "invisible disabilities". It is the same problems other people have: everyone gets frustrated, is averse to unpleasant tasks, gets bored, has to put in effort for executive function, seeks pleasure, et cetera.
I think of it like a mixing desk in a music studio. Where these sliders have all been pushed to varying levels of extremity.
This is why, when you explain it to a more neurotypical person, they will most often say, "oh yeah me too!". But it's like an Olympic sprinter saying that they can sprint, and an average joe saying, "oh yeah me too!". It's a matter of degrees.
> This is why, when you explain it to a more neurotypical person, they will most often say, "oh yeah me too!". But it's like an Olympic sprinter saying that they can sprint, and an average joe saying, "oh yeah me too!". It's a matter of degrees.
You excellently summed up something I've struggled a lot with since being diagnosed a couple of years ago.
This thing (ADHD) has permeated every aspect of my life in incredibly significant ways since I was a kid, and life made much more sense post diagnosis. Much much more. But, one of the hardest things to deal with - which I didn't expect - is that everyone I told would just respond, "yeah me too" (relating to the "symptoms", not saying they had a diagnosis) - essentially (without them intending to) invalidating my diagnosis. Or at least that's what it felt like - to the point that I've just stopped bringing it up. (Apart from in random HN threads... :)
And I totally get it, because I would probably have said the same thing if a friend told me they had OCD. I now know that my "OCD" tendancies are very clearly "not OCD" and to describe them as such risks trivialising the challenges for people who genuinely have this condition.
So I don't blame anyone really, but it does add to the "invisibility" of dealing with what from the inside feels like a very real and challenging condition and from the outside often just makes you look and act like a "bad impression of a human".
A difference of degree can turn into a difference of kind.
Lose 5% of your leg strength? You might not even notice. Lose 95%? You can't walk.
This is what it's like for ADHD people. The impairment is enough to make it difficult to keep a job, difficult to maintain relationships and difficult to keep up with pretty much any complex aspect of adult life.
The executive function deficit that comes with ADHD means that you don't have as much control over those emotions. The discomfort of the task is overwhelming and so you avoid and procrastinate. The fact that avoiding the task is rooted in emotion isn't exacerbated by ADHD, it is ADHD.
Really well said. It's really hard to describe to neurotypicals because while they experience avoidant behavior and lack of motivation, doing the dishes doesn't feel like being tasked with penetrating a foot thick tungsten wall using only your teeth. They just think you should be able to do waves hands something involving bootstraps so therefore you're just stupid and lazy.
At the worst of times, when I had a university assignment I would sit at my desk to do the assignment and physically feel a repulsive force from my work. Like a really strong gust of wind.
And now I have unlocked middle school memories of staying up all night, alternating between lying down from exhaustion to forcing myself to sit and write a few words each round for my English essays that day.
Yes and it often be a physical response too like my arms will start to have phantom aches when forcing myself to do something my adhd is screaming against.
This. For me it's occasional chest pressure, and constant phantom hunger. It's like my un/subconscious mind decided to go to war with the conscious part, and is using bodily sensations as weapons.
I think of it like a mixing desk in a music studio. Where these sliders have all been pushed to varying levels of extremity.
This is why, when you explain it to a more neurotypical person, they will most often say, "oh yeah me too!". But it's like an Olympic sprinter saying that they can sprint, and an average joe saying, "oh yeah me too!". It's a matter of degrees.