[Gene_Parmesan]

> Having the same shallow conversations over and over with different individuals

I'm ADHD-neurodivergent so I get the point here, but think of this phenomenon as verbal handshaking. The point isn't the subject matter of the conversation, it's everything else about the exchange. You could almost get the same effect just from spouting word salad at each other, the content doesn't matter. It's how people feel out others whom they don't know very well, with a lot of observation gathering going on. There's a social dance you typically need to go through before someone else will feel comfortable engaging you on a more personal level.

[DropInIn]

Heres the behavior I see repeatedly:

People tell a story that matters to them. They do this with everyone they see. The next time you see them they tell you again. And the next time. And the next.... Ad nauseum...

They don't care about You or that You specifically hear the story, evidenced by the repetition even after advising them of it, they are just narcissists self aggrandizing or whining about a an event they perceive as unfair.

Theres no reason to engage with that behavior as it does nothing but encourage it, with the end result being a systemic harm to self and society.

This behaviour is most common in extroverts ime, though thats likely due to the fact they are more visible than introverts in general.

[CTDOCodebases]

I must admit I have been guilty of doing this in the past. Rather than something negative though it was something positive. I think by telling it over and over it was a way to relive the experience or just express how great it was since I had no one with me at the time. In my case though I genuinely just forgot I told the people the story since I was telling it to everyone and (to me) it was an interesting story. Everyone was polite and didn't remind me that I have already told them the story until one person couldn't bear hearing it another time. It was only at this point that I became conscious of what I was doing.

I know what you mean though. Mentally ill people have a habit of doing this. If you listen in on one talking to themselves you will hear a story of some personal trauma they experienced some time ago.

Perennial victims also do this as a solicitation for love. While as a child we learn to express our bad experiences to our parents and receive love and affection in return. The problem is like drug addicts some people grow up to abuse this to lesser and lesser effect.

When it comes to aggrandizing it can be funny to shut the person down by expressing your disinterest then immediately complimenting them on something trivial that you genuinely like or asking them the question about something you wish to know.

Your comment reminds me of the phrase "People don't do things to you they do things in front of you." It expresses just how performative human behaviour can be at times.

[CTDOCodebases]

Oh yeah I get that. My issue is that often it is a waste of time. The other person has no intention to reveal their personality, or they are using it as a filter to see what they can get out of you or even they are only engaging so as not to appear unsociable.