[thirdreplicator]

So much discussion of loneliness on this forum makes me think y'all are in the wrong country. Feeling lonely? Come to the Philippines! Sunnier, family-oriented, cheaper, everyone wants to have a relationship with foreigners (both men and women), waterfalls, sandbars, diving, cheap food and housing, and recently 200 Mbps internet. Been married to a Filipina for 14 years. So far so good. I came here from Silicon valley as a digital nomad and still here as a father and a husband. (Been back and forth though over the years.) Being a programmer and an introvert with a family of 3 children, creates the opposite problem of having too much social interaction and not enough alone time. Recently I've been able to negotiate more alone time with my children as my youngest is 8 years old, and they have lots of cousins to okay with. Overall, I think humans need to be with each other. Living in our little boxes by ourselves staring at screens is not natural.

[saos]

I’m trying to figure out whether you’re still lonely. It kinda reads like that.

[AlexeyBelov]

Why? To me it absolutely doesn't. What am I missing?

[bimguy]

that's nice but i'd rather not be executed or jailed for life for ingesting herbal medicines

[throw3738474]

This feels really exploitative to me.

I used to travel a lot for work and experienced first hand how large income disparities can affect people.

I also met enough long term expats who were really jaded. It always made me wonder if they became like that or if they were always like that.

[pancaku]

I'm curious what you find exploitative about that?

When I visited a south east asian country I was very surprised by the wealth disparity. However, I'm not seeing the connection between spending money as an expat with a significantly higher income compared to the rest of the country and exploitation. If anything it could be argued that you are injecting more cash into the economy from outside.

Happy to be enlightened if I'm missing something!

[dbancajas]

Exploitative in a sense where old dudes with questionable morals go to 3rd world countries and use their money to do questionable things like have sex with underage individuals or just exploit women in general. Women will tend to be submissive because they can get financial security. Your average joe programmer in HN isn't the usual type to go and stay in another country and try to assimilate properly. A good portion of them are outcasts or losers in their home countries (for a reason) and trying to experience rockstar life in a 3rd world country. That's a cynical take but if you ever to go Philippines/Vietnam/Indonesia you'll see what I mean and remember this comment. Obviously there are exceptional cases where people marry for "love" but usually it's for financial security.

[okumurahata]

Have you been living there? I always wonder why people have this idea of Asian women as submissive and expats being exploitative in SEA. Perhaps there are some old guys with questionable morals, but in my experience, neither Asian women are submissive, and most of the people I met (late 20s and early 30s) were normal individuals (both men and women) doing their own thing. This could be my bias, as I'm part of that age range. Anyway, I feel these generalisations are dangerous, e.g. "Obviously there may be exceptional cases where people marry for "love," but usually, it's for financial security". Does this statement not apply to any specific part of the world? If you are married, would your wife be with you only for financial reasons? Then why do you think so poorly about Asians in general.

[Razengan]

Sounds like you have a LOT of assumptions and prejudices about everyone on both sides.

What does that say about you, I wonder?

[HKH2]

> A good portion of them are outcasts or losers in their home countries (for a reason)

In countries where not being 6 foot makes you a loser. Why pretend that you live in a meritocracy?

[sw104]

Hit the nail on the head.

Thailand and the Philippines are prime destinations for morally dubious westerners to find the "love" they never found at home.

Britain is full of middle aged men with 20-year younger SEA wives (many of whom look almost child-like). I'm amazed the Home Office looks at the "relationship" arrangement and allows all of the visas.

[koonsolo]

That's exploitative on both sides of course.