| > the rising difficulty many young people have finding a partner who meets all of their requirements—emotional, physical, financial, and political Admittedly, I do many things wrong. But this is one I've done well and could be helpful for those struggling with the above ("meets ALL of their criteria") My wife and I are far apart politically... and our marriage is something I (and I think, we) cherish. When dating I struggled with finding someone who met ALL my criteria. In the course of it someone taught me to sit down and select your three (and ONLY three) "must-have" criteria. All other things are then negotiable. For me, I wanted someone who was smart, who shared my religious beliefs, and who was supportive of my entrepreneurial plans/journey. (Side note, I cheated and said I also wanted to be physically attracted to them.) Fast forward to me meeting my wife. There are a good deal of things we disagree on — politics being towards the top. Had I let that get in the way and looked for a laundry list of must-haves I would never have married her, would never have had our two incredible children , and might possibly either still be looking or have given up on my criteria and settled. This trick (pick 3 "non negotiables", let the rest be negotiable) served me extremely well in finding a dog after meeting ~100 (before having criteria), in my wedding (open bar, all my friends can come, no shoehorning of food by the venue), and a few other cases. I can only speculate on why it works so well. It likely works because it forced me to really list what was crucial and to be more flexible on things I'd otherwise list as crucial. Either way, if this helps one person to simplify, focus, and be flexible enough to find a mate theme it was worth it. Hope it helps you. And happy Father's Day to all you other fathers out there. |