You're in luck! We're offering a brand new moral-spinedectomy operation, guaranteed to turn mushy humanity into glorious ~~psychopathy~~ - I mean leadership!
Got a CEO who just can't do the right thing (for the shareholders)? We offer up to 20-way split billing so the whole board of directors can chip in for the surgery!
Four-hour recovery before your CEO is ready to do ANYTHING to meet quarterly expectations, no matter how cruel and capricious! Or your money back!
What do you mean board of directors? The goal is to get rid of everyone not using their hands. Everyone answers to the E-CEO from janitor and security to clients, investors and human externalities. Every query answered immediately, to the point, everyone informed exactly to the right extend and at the right moment, all data driven. Instant bonuses if you demonstrate human usefulness beyond the job description.
Every lie can finally be believable and be completely consistent with the rest of the hallucinated universe. Perfectly timed lies that trade reputation for profit at the correct exchange rate.
Complete "awareness" of the exact value of every asset in the company and the audacity to act on it.
Got a CEO who just can't do the right thing (for the shareholders)? We offer up to 20-way split billing so the whole board of directors can chip in for the surgery!
Four-hour recovery before your CEO is ready to do ANYTHING to meet quarterly expectations, no matter how cruel and capricious! Or your money back!