Ask HN: Dating app thirst-trapping non-premium users ethical?

[tony_antny]

I am writing this from Banglore, India. I do see a tendency by dating apps to thirst trap users into buying a premium subscription. By thirst-trapping I mean they will show someone liked your profile when actually it a programmatically generated marketing tactic. I wonder how often these practices tend to happen around us.

[z3t4]

Almost all dating apps are owned by the same company and all they care about is extracting money from users. If you want to try online dating, just use a free app without monetization besides ads.

[moomoo11]

Yep, can confirm.

I've worked on one of the major dating apps, and it really is so gamified. It depends what you are after. If you want long term relationship or want to find someone with whom you can settle down, do not rely on these apps.

IMO, find a hobby / meetup group and go to events, and try to find someone while doing things you both enjoy doing together. I think you will:

1. Not waste your time and money.

2. Get to know someone while doing something you enjoy.

3. Find something meaningful. (Yes, those apps do work for some people, but those are a small minority - if your goal is a LTR or settling down).

[edwardwatson]

To offer an alternative perspective: I'm gay and live in a minor city in the UK. It's very unlikely I meet other gay men through my hobbies, it's just improbable unless you live in a major city. So the dating apps are very useful and I've met great people through it. I'm sure it's the same for other niche groups or straight people who live in rural areas, and there just aren't many single folk around.

[DantesKite]

This reminds me of an observation I had: I think a lot of the best dating apps aren't strictly dating apps.

For example, you'd be surprised at the number of people who have met on Twitter. It's quite a lot.

Even John Carmack recently met his significant other on there following his divorce.

https://twitter.com/ID_AA_Carmack/status/1530022920130543630...