[RheingoldRiver]

I disagree. If you find the right communities, you really make close friendships with people - even if you don't know their real names, how old they are, where they work, or where they live. None of that matters, because you share and connect over a common interest. And you could never find so many people IRL with similar interests as you.

If this isn't how you're using reddit, discord, etc, and it's easy to disconnect from them, then yeah just leave them. But they foster meaningful interactions too.

[haswell]

I don’t think the argument is that one can’t find connection on Reddit.

But I think the recent happenings are a good reason to ask how good it is to invest so much in communities that can disappear overnight.

I’ve enjoyed my time on Reddit over the (many) years and I’ve made real friends who I now know in real life. But many of the communities I once valued have crumbled or no longer provide the same positive experience. What remains are those real friendships.

Social media in general is a gigantic experiment and we’re still just beginning to learn about the psychological and sociological impacts.

Shifting focus to local in-person interactions and creating solid and sustainable relationships that don’t depend on the whims of the latest social media platform seems increasingly important.

And I still think there can be value found there, but not as a primary form of social connection.

[adriand]

> Shifting focus to local in-person interactions and creating solid and sustainable relationships that don’t depend on the whims of the latest social media platform seems increasingly important.

I agree with this completely. I have formed many online relationships particularly in the music community starting during the COVID lockdowns and it has really struck me how ephemeral they are compared to IRL friendships. It’s so much harder to connect in a deep way. It’s also so much easier to walk away. You can just kind of slow down your online engagement and the relationship dries up.

I’ve also noticed how I tend to develop a certain impression of someone just based on their online artifacts (avatar, style of writing, emoji, etc) that often turns out to be gravely inaccurate when I finally encounter them in a “realer” format such as a video call. Sometimes I end up realizing that I’d likely not hang out with that person IRL. It’s disconcerting.

Lastly, I find I often feel uncertain about the connection I have in ways that I never feel with people IRL. For instance, wondering if my tone is off, wondering if the person isn’t perhaps as interested in whatever endeavour we are working on anymore, etc.

I am fortunate in that I have not been much of a feed-based social media user for many years, but my belief that community-based social media (eg Discord) might be better has been tested by these observations. As per your comment, I think RL is where it’s at.

[PlunderBunny]

Online, we make the people we interact with into the people we want them to be, not who they actually are.

[adriand]

This is a fantastic insight!

[kirso]

Problem is an average consumer uses reddit for memes and buying recommendations.

The magic however is indeed as you pointed out discussing various topics: - Gear in baldurs gate - How to create a hardware clone of R2D2 - Books that you couldn't put down - What is the best present I can give to my friend - Summary of Hubermans protocols - Etc.

thats the beauty of it and I would miss it.

[dcsommer]

I'm glad you found a consistent source of enjoyable and enriching interactions online.

That said, do not dismiss the need for long-term, in-person friendship. IRL forces you to confront the uncomfortable/mismatched parts of others. In other words, the whole person. It enables you to comfort and support in a way that is impossible online. This is all both uncomfortable and necessary to form the most meaningful and worthwhile relationships, not to mention vital social skills.

The Internet is an incredible tool to connect like-minded people, but it will not bring happiness in the same way the flesh and blood presence of consistently physically present people can.

[PhilipRoman]

I'm sure you can make friendships in any environment like, say, a prison. I personally find IRC servers and in-game chats to be some of the best places for discussion.

[mikrl]

I love that feeling of deep, basically throwaway connection. I met a guy in a hostel once and we never exchanged names or anything, but hit up some tourist spots together, shared life stories and smokes.

In undergrad I once befriended and flirted with a classmate for a few weeks and only realized, when I was putting her number in my phone, that I had no idea what her name was. It’s like connection so intoxicating that you just enjoy it for itself.

[8note]

That's a community that can move quite easily