[hx781]

I find it interesting, yes. I did not do it for the money; I don't think it's ever been the main thing that motivated me to do the degree (though of course I was indirectly influenced by that seeing how I know lots of people who use that as their motivation).

I also just feel embarassed because frankly, I can tell my class is supposed to be easy. Not drop dead easy, but it's not supposed to be super hard, and I still feel like I struggle too much. My university is okay, it's not ranked poorly (for whatever that's worth), but it is not a top tier university which would subject its students to incredibly difficult work. It very strongly feels that the stuff I am doing should not take too long (were I to do it myself in isolation, with only the internet to help me), but it feels like I need too much help from my friends and other resources. At times I cannot finish in time, and I need to resort to using their help to get through my assignment, and I absolutely hate it. I despise not being able to stand on my own feet. I don't mean I'm unwilling to accept help of any kind, because that's stupid, but I would like to feel that I would be capable to doing some part of things myself -- because I know I won't always have friends to help me.

[paktek123]

Either you have too high expectations of yourself or you are not grasping the problem/syllabus . It could also be adhd, at this point not enough information. Taking initiative normally happens by itself, it's like your natural ability to prove you understand the issue and express the solution / work just happens.

Do you struggle with everything, even non course related stuff, did you struggle with this in school (different subjects)