"it should be workable" sounds suspiciously hand-wavy and sounds particularly naïve about law.
EU and countries in the EU bloc are governed by completely different laws than the US (and the constituent states).
This particular regulator (CFPB) is considered illegitimate by most Republicans (the bureau leadership has more independence from the Executive Branch than they would like) and is still fighting decade-long court cases to continue to exist. It's not clear how much actual authority this bureau has to force companies to do anything.
IANAL, but I am quite sure that is not how our country works. The closest legal possibility to what you're talking about is the government buying PayPal and turning it into a bank, but that's not happening anytime in the foreseeable future.