| I think they should be developed before one injects themselves into foreign places i am going to have to disagree with this. if anything i found doing this a lot easier in foreign places than at home. so if i would have waited until i was able to do that at home, then i would never have been able to leave in the first place. and you know what, after three decades i still feel uncomfortable in a room when i don't know anyone and i rely on others to welcome me. i don't know what or how i should have learned anything other than keep doing it, be patient and to try not be too awkward. i have literally just been through this experience today. in a group of tech people that all had the same cultural origin as me too. a few people talked to me and i was able to join the conversation. to answer your questions: i have a variety of interests, some stronger some less, (like most science topics, even if i know nothing about them are interesting) but if it's not about any of those, like most sports or chit chat about celebrities, then i'll struggle. i'll listen, but i may not have much to say. i don't know if i can make people interested but i can talk to them if they are interested in a way they will understand. i can speak confidently, and i don't shy away from social situations, but how much i enjoy that depends on everyone there. today was so-so. nobody made me feel unwelcome, but i have experienced much more welcoming groups (mainly from other cultures, most notably africans). so today wasn't bad, but it was somewhat mentally exhausting, just as i expected it sometimes you just can't predict what happens when you join an event with people you don't know. at one event i talked to someone for 5 minutes, and half a year later he invited me to work with him on his project. at another, after attending a few times, one of the organizers talked to me and eventually became one of my best friends even though he hardly spoke my language, and i don't speak his. i would not have been able to live such a life rich of experiences if i had stopped myself due to the challenges i face interacting with other people. actually so far from my experience, the only group of people that seems to have difficulties to welcome others into our groups, is us. |