[jimbob45]

I hope some day men too will have real and reliable (condoms fail a lot) self-determination in terms of reproduction

Period tracking is incredibly reliable. People will tell you that women will lie about when they have their periods. However, if you can't trust a woman to tell you when she's menstruating, then that's perhaps a sign that you're not ready for sexual conduct with that woman.

[RjQoLCOSwiIKfpm]

Uhm, what, reliable? Source?

The failure rate of that is in the double digits percentage AFAIK !?

Besides, as long as you are still fertile and relying upon someone else not being fertile that is not self-determination. Men can also be victims of violence.

And as soon as multiple $100k in potential alimony payment (raising a kid for 18 years costs that much!) get involved some (not all!) people will lie to your face as much as humanly possible.

[cassepipe]

Indeed, we use condoms for the danger days. We have a window of four days before and after supposed ovulation. I wonder if this is enough. Do you use any other kind of tracking like temperature monitoring ? I'd love to read any resources.

I know this isn't the best contraception but I live in a country where I have access to abortion and "tomorrow" pills.

[jimbob45]

You can get an ovulation test kit if you want to go crazy with it[0]. She can know exactly when she ovulates and you can expand/shrink your window as you feel comfortable. Pair that with a condom and pull-out and there's virtually no risk of pregnancy.

[0]https://www.clearblue.com/ovulation-tests

[cassepipe]

Thanks, I didn't know those existed, it's great...

Actually do you rememeber the twitter thread when someone took apart one of those test (a pregnancy test, I assume they're alike) and then you realised it's basically a small camera doing the work of your eyes on a very cheap paper test ? https://twitter.com/Foone/status/1301707401024827392

I don't want to use one or two tests like that a month, it would be too much waste. Good news is I suppose is I should be able to get my hand on a paper tests.

[supertofu]

I've used fertility awareness (see https://www.tcoyf.com/) paired with a short course of Queen Anne's Lace tincture as a fallback if intimacy should happen during the fertile window. A fertile window for those who ovulate is usually only 2-3 days, with a couple days padded onto either side of the window for extra security. I've been using this method for five years and have avoided pregnancy thus far.

Fertility awareness requires a great deal of mutual trust, and a great deal of understanding of one's body. It is not 100% reliable (although the media would have you believe this method is only for religious zealots and the irresponsible, which is very much not true) -- but it's a lot less complicated than invasive surgery.