[ameminator]

It's a personal judgement based on personal experience. I asked those same questions before deciding that maybe dating or marriage was not for me. However, you should make your own judgement call based off of your own experiences. Just be aware that something between 40 and 45% of first time marriages fail in North America (depending on the study).

[lapcat]

> It's a personal judgement based on personal experience.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Are you saying that nobody likes you? If so, then maybe that's a "you" problem and not a "them" problem...

> I asked those same questions before deciding that maybe dating or marriage was not for me.

Forget marriage for a second, you don't even want to date? If so, I'm not sure you're really one to be giving advice here, to people who are interested in having relationships.

[ameminator]

Exactly, you should make your own judgement, based on your personal circumstances, including how agreeable you are.

In terms of dating, when I engage in that, I aim for pure companionship. It always struck me as wrong to use another person, either for intimacy or even as an emotional crutch. Relationships, when they do happen, usually last quite a while but may be a different experience for the other person involved, from their previous relationships.

However, these are personal anecdata. Is it so hard to look at the statistics and results and make your own conclusion?

[lapcat]

> In terms of dating, when I engage in that, I aim for pure companionship.

I'm not sure what that means exactly? Sounds more like friendship than dating.

> It always struck me as wrong to use another person, either for intimacy or even as an emotional crutch.

Why would you frame it in term of using someone? A relationship is supposed to be mutual.

> However, these are personal anecdata. Is it so hard to look at the statistics and results and make your own conclusion?

According to your stats, >50% of first time marriages succeed. That seems pretty good for such a major life decision.

Anyway, what puzzles me is that you're asking why anyone should get married, but your starting point was with someone "who probably doesn't like me very much anyways". Shouldn't a couple be in love before they even consider marriage. If you don't love each other — or even like each other??? — then of course you shouldn't consider marriage. That would be dumb, and likely destined to fail. The question of marriage shouldn't even come up in that situation.

If you're vehemently against marriage, and moreover, nobody loves you, then congratulations, it's a rather easy decision for you. Or no decision at all. Love is why people risk it.

[red-iron-pine]

> It's a personal judgement based on personal experience.

ITT: parent poster is an unlikable jerk. or thinks they are, anyway.

But you can marry someone you like, and courtship periods -- plus the modern "live together for a while and try it out" thing -- means you can find someone you like.

Plus they're your spouse; your job is to try to keep them (sorta) happy.

[ameminator]

I mean, pretty much. However, I've also been pretty happy and - more importantly - fulfilled, without marriage. It's to the point where I don't understand why someone would take the risk (in both capital and personal impact), especially when divorce rates seem so high.

[lotsofpulp]

> Just be aware that something between 40 and 45% of first time marriages fail in North America (depending on the study).

This goes down a lot as you go up the socioeconomic ladder:

https://flowingdata.com/2021/05/04/divorce-rates-and-income/

[ameminator]

Most people I know earn less than $100k per year, unfortunately. Even then, having a divorce rate reach the floor at 30% seems pretty risky to me.