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by RealityVoid 1118 days ago
Honestly, I read the book about 15 years ago and my takeaway at that time was that... actually, It's OK to be nice to people and to let your desire to help them manifest itself. At that point in my life I was kind of a little shit and was utterly paranoid of being taken advantage of and viewed interactions very transactional.

So, yeah... That's not what I took from that book at all. Maybe I should read it again because maybe it's not really as I remember it, since so many people seem to hate it?
2 comments
picture 1118 days ago
I feel like a lot of people judge "How to Win Friends and Influence People" literally by the cover. Its main message is to continually improve your own character. (What I took away anyway)

While there are definitely some toxic books out there (the "## laws of power", as an example. I don't remember what the number was but it was two digits), I don't think How to Win Friends is one of them.

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sumtechguy 1118 days ago
Maybe I worded that a bit strongly. As the reasons for me having to read it still irk me. But the root is how to draw people in by being nicer. It is a form of manipulation and not true to who you are. Now given that there is nothing wrong with improving yourself to be less of a jerk. Those books do have that sort of advice. But the advice is given with the intention of manipulation. I may be being harsh on them. But that was my takeaway. Decent advice but bad intentions.
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