[castigatio]

I lay in bed many a night as a young adult thinking about killing myself - and this is an accurate description of my experience. I liked life. I wanted to experience things in life. But the pain of not being able to experience all the things I wanted (social interaction, physical and emotional intimacy, meaningful career) plus the pain of many repeated failures to achieve these things meant that the reality I was forced to inhabit was extremely painful and escape felt like the only way out.

This was because I had undiagnosed severe anxiety and depression before finding medication that cured everything. Not a single though of offing myself in 12 year now.