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by throwaw12 1123 days ago
* (sociologic) no trust in your partner (which is partly related to social networks and porn in some ways). they can divorce anytime, because it is easier to divorce than trying to resolve issues in the relationship, which will leave you as a single care taker of the kid, which creates 2 issues: (1) do you want to raise alone, making kid feel half family (2) can you actually raise alone with current demand at workplace

* (political) do politicians want to and policies support having kids? Like helping with healthcare when needed or should you spend 10k$ for simple things per kid?

2 comments

Number one is very true. My generation has so many children of divorced parents that I don't see these trust issues ever being fixed.

I'm not sure if it's attributable to porn though. I think it's rather our individualistic, bordering on narcissistic, culture that is driving this.

As the old saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. The next best thing after the village is the family.

But in a society where the individual is celebrated and divorce is so common, the whole burden of raising the child rests either on the mother or the father. And that is just too much to deal with.

I think if you look back in human history it was natural that the tribe would take care of all the children, thereby spreading the burden a lot. But we don't have the tribe anymore. And the families are now breaking apart, too.

The alternative of growing up with parents/grandparents that obviously despise each other isn't any less harmful.
Divorce rates are going down and have been for generations.
The rates don't matter here because the overhanging threat of divorce is what sways someone from having children.

I'm a DINK myself; I've watched the complexity of my friend's divorce with children and I perceive it as more evidence I've made a good decision.

you’re insane, divorce has exploded since the 50s
You're wrong, maybe rates went up drastically once it became socially acceptable, but since then they have had a decline [1].

[1] https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/marriage-divorce.htm?CDC_AA_re..., for rates since 1990.

> * (political) do politicians want to and policies support having kids? Like helping with healthcare when needed or should you spend 10k$ for simple things per kid?

They (conservative ones) seem to want to force births (against abortion & in some extreme cases, even contraception). But the followup on supporting kids is, like you said, not there.