[steve_adams_86]

I’ve been doing it for many years now and I’d recommend it to anyone.

Most people don’t like it. I think this is because they haven’t given it an honest try or considered the critical importance of being able to talk to yourself openly about what’s happening in your life and mind.

This would probably seem strange to a lot of people, or perhaps they believe they already do it with an internal monologue. Chances are pretty good that without a book to reflect on and the intent to do difficult things, your mind will readily distract itself and prevent you from doing difficult things that a journal might facilitate better.

For me it has made that personal exchange a lot more natural and easy. When I do foolish things I can talk to myself about it and figure out why I did it, what I can do differently next time, and feel better having put energy into doing better next time. When I do good things I can be grateful, consider what went right and why, and set intentions to do that more.

I also write about people I care about so I can be more intentional about how I’m present in their lives. I have ADHD and without being very intentional, I can figuratively and literally vanish from people’s lives due to getting in my head about things or being sucked into work or hobbies too much.

But I also know I’m happiest when I do things for people, I thrive on socializing despite being so good at being a hermit, and at the end of the day, I don’t think life is particularly worthwhile without a significant focus on being prosocial. So, I keep track of this stuff with the journal and make sure I’m staying on tracking with my goals and value system.

I can’t attribute all life changes to journaling, but I’d say it has made me a far better friend and parent since I started taking it seriously. I also know it has lead to me being better to myself, which is really important. Overall I’d say my personal affect is generally more constructive and positive, and I look at problems in my life as something I can engage with more now, whereas before I was far more avoidant.

There are other paths to similar practices, so journaling isn’t the only option. I highly recommend it to anyone willing to try, though. We should all be better at talking to ourselves. Our past, present, and even future selves.

[ambivalents]

Thanks for sharing. I resonate with so much of what you say, particularly this: >>or perhaps they believe they already do it with an internal monologue. This is the typical justification I use for when I'm not in the mood to journal.

And your comments about ADHD, being more intentional with people, and living a prosocial-oriented life. I too could easily veer down a hermit-like path but deliberately effort not to. And I used to think that a personal CRM was overkill and such detailed tracking of others a waste of time. I haven't implemented anything yet, but I see the value of it now. Relationships are cumulative, interactions build off of each other. Remembering salient details in prior interactions (e.g. from my recent life, little tidbits I could find useful: Rachel deeply loves her mom. Ana is aware that I get car sick easily and made an accommodation for me, etc etc...)can enhance future ones.

[steve_adams_86]

Absolutely. Your relationship with yourself is the best thing you can develop to take care of yourself. After all, who better than you to ensure future you is taken care of? On the other hand, the people around us are everything. Life is nothing without others.

Apart from nurturing a constructive relationship with ourselves, for ourselves, it’s critical to do it for the people around us as well. I don’t think it can be understated how important and worthwhile it is to be intentional and mindful about it.

Someone noticing you get car sick might seem like a small matter in passing, but that’s the fabric of what makes our relationships. Like you said, it’s all cumulative. I think it’s absolutely worth taking a moment to contemplate that or note it away somewhere.