[kerkeslager]

I know that the intention is somewhat humorous here, but...

A lot of caliber recommendations out there are significant overkill, based on limited data. In cases where we do have data, calibers signicantly less powerful than recommendations often prove surprisingly effective.

For example, in a survey of 104 grizzly and polar bear attacks with handgun calibers, there were only 3 failures, all of which involved firing after the bear had already caused damage (an automatic failure) or completely missing[1]. You'll often see guys carrying 44 magnums in grizzly country, but the evidence seems to suggest that common 9mm rounds are effective enough. Even the lowly 22 rimfire is represented in the data with success against black bears (but not polar bears). I don't know anyone who would recommend 22 rimfire for deer let alone bears.

Given this, I think it's reasonable to select the venerable 7.62x39. This is a common chambering for semi-automatic and even automatic rifles with high-capacity magazines, which would obviate the need to load each bullet individually. It also is easy to obtain armor-piercing rounds in this caliber if penetration is your concern. This is still a punishing round to fire a lot of, but with a modern recoil management system it's manageable.

Additionally, the heart is a small target as well, but luckily most hunters' experience is that larger target including the lung and liver can provide reasonably ethical kills (i.e. the animal dies quickly without a prolonged tracking during which the animal suffers). For most animals striking the scapula proves disabling, allowing for an easier follow-up. So just aiming slightly forward of center of mass should be sufficient--no detailed knowledge of anatomy or high-speed, high-precision shooting needed.

All this is to say that with a different approach, killing what can only be described as a stampede of 30-50 hippos in 3-5 minutes isn't as implausible as a more conservative approach might make it seem.

[1] https://www.ammoland.com/2021/06/handgun-or-pistol-against-b...

[wcarron]

> You'll often see guys carrying 44 magnums in grizzly country, but the evidence seems to suggest that common 9mm rounds are effective enough. Even the lowly 22 rimfire is represented in the data with success against black bears (but not polar bears). I don't know anyone who would recommend 22 rimfire for deer let alone bears.

> Given this, I think it's reasonable to select the venerable 7.62x39. This is a common chambering for semi-automatic and even automatic rifles with high-capacity magazines, which would obviate the need to load each bullet individually. It also is easy to obtain armor-piercing rounds in this caliber if penetration is your concern. This is still a punishing round to fire a lot of, but with a modern recoil management system it's manageable.

So, the .308 is extremely common in the US and is somewhat similar to the 7.62x39. A .308 fires a typical round with, oh about 2500 ft-lbs of muzzle energy. Meanwhile a 44mag has maybe 1000 ft-lbs of muzzle energy. An Ak-47 is also 7.62x39 and has ~ 1500 ft-lbs of energy. That's a hell of a lot more grunt than a 44 magnum, any way you dice it.

At that point, skip the armor-piercing or FMJ and go hollow point. There's more than enough power in that round and the larger wound channel is probably a plus.

[bombcar]

The caliber stuff isn't about the "bear" minimum, it's about overkill because it not working can be an issue.

Reference that Tokyo Joe article posted here a few days ago where the dude took some number of .22 shells direct to the skull and lived.

I have read that too high powered a rifle can also be an issue, as the bullet just punches through the animal leaving a small entry wound and a relatively small exit wound, allowing the animal some significant time before it bleeds out.

[nordsieck]

> I have read that too high powered a rifle can also be an issue, as the bullet just punches through the animal leaving a small entry wound and a relatively small exit wound, allowing the animal some significant time before it bleeds out.

It's not.

"Solid bullet" typically means hard cast lead; it's a non-deforming bullet. The name of the game when it comes to the "big 5" is penetration. If you hit the brain or heart, it's dead quickly. If not, it'll probably shrug off the wound.

These are animals that fight lions and crocodiles, not to mention other hippos. Their bodies can take pretty massive damage (compared to humans anyhow) and just keep trucking.

[bombcar]

To be fair most game hunting is (at least arguably) for meat or trophy, weaponry that completely turns your hippo into a thin red mist works for hippo control but is hard to mount on your wall, so your CSAM would probably work - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heLuUd0VK2s

[SideburnsOfDoom]

If they're charging at you, it seems most effective to aim for the brain, that's the target (1). I would prefer the armour-piercing rounds, to get through the thick skull.

At that angle, the other vital organs are also well-shielded, by bulk if not by skull.

1) https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/hippopotamus-running-in-th...

[FredPret]

If you're hunting in the African bush (not the scenario described, I know) I'd want to carry the largest possible caliber. These animals are big and fast - you get one shot if you are lucky.

There are also other animals that share an environment with the hippo that are very well-armoured and hard to kill with one shot, like elephants, Cape buffalo, etc.