| I had to work on this alot too because my chi...well all happy families are alike but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. a gentle and emotionally aware stance has to be paired with a strong sense of boundaries, To me, a strong sense of self if probably more useful. Establishing boundaries presumes an expertise that doesn't exist. Parenting is learned on the job. Learned over the better part of a lifetime. Or all of it since we learn parenting by being parented as children...from people who were learning on the job. we don’t speak like that in this family; I won’t be responding until you talk to me in a respectful way Are you prepared to walk the walk and kick your child out of the family for responding with "fuck you"? Never mind that withholding conversation from a child is punishment? "Please don't talk to me like that. I don't like it," is the simplest thing that might work. It's also a good way to talk to other people. Because human relationships boil down to a good will, negotiation, or violence. Boundaries bound operating on goodwill. |