[nonethewiser]

I fully agree with you but I do think many people are just speaking generally when they talk about wanting to live a happy life.

Obviously one should not always be happy. You shouldn't be happy at a funeral. You should also have cause to go to a funeral (having friends, family, etc.). You should also do things you might hate or cause pain because long term they are good. Studying, running, etc. Life if full of these struggles and they are good.

But there is also a common hedonistic misunderstanding where people seek pleasure, avoid pain, and think it will lead to happiness, or fulfillment, or however you want to characterize a "good" life. I see this a lot in the "self-care" advocates who justify unhealthy behavior by positioning it as championing some self-diagnosed mental health cause. It often looks like "I'm going to ignore my responsibilities because I feel bad and people shouldn't question me because I am the full authority on anything I categorize as my mental health."

[_a_a_a_]

> You shouldn't be happy at a funeral

Shouldn't I? I suspect you're just unthinkingly exporting cultural expectations you've absorbed. I don't believe all cultures treat funerals as necessarily sad occasions, and I really don't like being told what I should feel by someone else (although I realise you probably didn't mean it that way).

(small edit)

[sph]

Good observation. As someone raised in a Catholic country, I am still weirded out by the Protestant idea to get together after a funeral to mourn, mingle and eat. (I'm not even sure what you call that)

In my mind mourning is a very private and too sad an event to have people around, and there is bound to be cultures where mourning is cause to celebrate, have fun, and enjoy life in all of its beauty.

[Vedor]

That's interesting.

I was born and raised in Poland, a Catholic country, and we do gather after the funeral to mourn and eat together. However, apparently this custom dates back to Slavic times – this may explain the difference between our experiences.

[sph]

And I'm from Italy. Perhaps it's not a religious difference, but just cultural.

[com]

In English, the social event of mourning with others often with food, drink and sometimes even song, is often called a “wake”.

[egometry]

The "Irish Wake" is this... but _before_ the funeral.

And Ireland is VERY Catholic.

[psychoslave]

Surely happiness is not continuous feeling of bliss and joy.

For example parenthood can be a large collection of frustration and exhaustion, and still be one of the most powerful gate to happiness.

[koheripbal]

It's important that we cultivate a language of words with more precise meanings rather than always trying to interpolate what the writer meant using their context.

A better language and a better society has a more sophisticated set of words to communicate with.