[throwaway892238]

You're not alone. What doesn't get said enough about this topic is "it doesn't matter". The architecture and design, for the most part, doesn't matter. Because no matter what is chosen, there will be pitfalls. Failing to account for those pitfalls will lead to problems, and changing the design or architecture to avoid the pitfalls will just introduce new pitfalls.

IMHO, the right path is to first become educated about each design and its pitfalls, so that when the time comes, you can quickly pick a design, and move swiftly onto dealing with the pitfalls, because that's where the actual problems lie.

  Among the maxims on Lord Naoshige's wall there was this one: 
       "Matters of great concern should be treated lightly."
  
  Master Ittei commented,
       "Matters of small concern should be treated seriously."