[legerdemain]

My last comment here for a while, but to answer the question... you might not end up being able to? Like, ever?

It's like asking "how do I win the lottery." You can improve your odds. And you might also never win. A lot of people never win the lottery despite buying a lot of tickets.

For some people, success at building connections is a matter of personality. Or it might be the area where you live. Maybe it's how closely in touch you are with people you knew from grade school and college, or whether you moved away from the town where you grew up. Maybe it's whether you're close with coworkers. Maybe it's whether you are enthusiastic about hobbies you have in common with others, or maybe it's how you look and dress.

There are so many different factors that influence the outcome for any given individual. You can follow none of the commonplace advice and end up in the middle of an active social network. Or you can put a lot of energy into trying things out and come out empty-handed in the end.

[2devnull]

Yes, much of it seems circumstantial. People who have communities are in a different situation than people who do not. A lot of loneliness is age related, location related, etc… This thread is filled with kind, well intended, totally worthless advice being offered by younger people, people who have a community, people who have a family, people who live in dense urban areas, etc… The answer seems to be “volunteer”, but obviously if that worked there wouldn’t be these threads. Loneliness is a societal problem, not something an individual can solve by volunteering.