Picking the wrong spouse will destroy your life in every way, financially, emotionally, logistically. Pick someone you’re confident you can go to war with.
I celebrated my 20th this year. Best decision I ever made. I had no idea I was picking my future best friend when I first met her. Jobs (and even careers) may come go, but a good marriage is eternal.
True, the wrong spouse takes more years off your life than living under the Heathrow flight path.
But my point was spend time with your kids if you want. Kids are awesome. But if you still give a shit about your career, don't feel guilty about missing junior's bar mitzvah. If his genetic stock isn't marred by a poor spousal choice, the only long-term damage is the memoir chapter he'll write about the absentee dad who didn't witness his building Amazon.com, or winning several NBA championships.