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by Planktonne 1153 days ago
> not wanting to hurt my partners feelings

Is not the same as

> to avoid a fight

or

> to stop them from nagging me

There is a subtle but important difference between 'having sex for reasons other than immediate desire' and 'pressured into having sex'.

1 comments

IME this dividing line exists more in theory than practice. Maybe your partner feeling upset or rejected leads to a fight about something unrelated the next day. Or maybe it's easier to rebuff some nagging than to deal with an insecure partner who is good with boundaries but will still feel deeply bad about the rejection.

So-called "duty sex" has been recognized as a complex topic where consent is concerned. Surely this is a continuum rather than yes/no. I can't go around calling an ex-girlfriend a rapist because she nagged me for sex now and then.