[matheusmoreira]

Career. I'm not a failure in general, I'm pretty successful. I consider myself a failure as a programmer though. I failed myself when I was a teenager by quitting and choosing another profession instead. I did it because at the time I thought I was gonna be miserable doing it for a living. These days... I don't know. I suppose I'll forever wonder what could have been.

[level87]

I did something similar. I spent my 20's and early 30's working as a furniture maker, I loved parts of it but financially it was difficult. When I was younger I spent whole summers coding for fun, all the friends I had at that time are now working at Google and Facebook while I am just getting started again.

I love making things and solving problems, and the medium isn't as important as I once thought. I wish I had realised this earlier and perhaps I would be further along in my career and financially more successful, but life doesn't work like that I guess. I feel like I've done things in reverse as I often read about software engineers romanticising woodwork.

[226_ebro_treaty]

You've just described grass is always greener on the other side :-)

[silisili]

Same feeling. I was writing games and small applications C++ for fun as a teen in the 90s. I was so fascinated by it, but found ultimately, it really depressed me. Probably just spending too much time thinking, not socializing, etc.

Didn't touch code or an editor again until 2009 or so, on accident so to speak trying to debug something for the boss. Found out a couple years later that I could get paid to code...had no idea. Then saw what all those kids at Stanford did and were making, and immediately felt like I missed the biggest opportunity of my life.

Oh well. Millions of what could have beens in life, no sense in wondering...

[matheusmoreira]

> it really depressed me. Probably just spending too much time thinking, not socializing, etc.

Yeah. Moving away from programming had an incredibly positive effect on my life. Almost everything that used to be awkward for me is easy now because of that one choice. Especially socialization, communication, speaking in public and with confidence, interpersonal skills in general. I really developed as a person in ways I don't think I would have otherwise.

I do miss that long deep thoughtful concentration though. Just thinking about software. The ideas present in the code and how they relate. Better ways to express them. Like a beautiful little puzzle coming together. A reflection of my mind. Twelve hours straight of nothing but this.

I'm glad I can afford to do this as a hobby now.

> Then saw what all those kids at Stanford did and were making, and immediately felt like I missed the biggest opportunity of my life.

Managed to avoid that particular dreadful feeling at least. Typical software engineer salaries that get posted here are truly ridiculous amounts of money in my country. Would be wonderful if I could make that much money working remotely from here but they're not gonna pay US salaries to non-US citizens. The exchange rate arbitrage is what makes them attractive to employers in the first place. I calculated how much they'd have to pay me for it to make sense to switch careers and was pretty happy with the result.

[silisili]

I think it's important to take stock of what you have, and especially if you subscribe to the butterfly effect way of thinking, realize it would all be gone.

For example, I have a wife I couldn't imagine living without, and a child who fills my days with laughter. I've been married twice, so this isn't a case of not knowing what's out there, but appreciating what I have now. I have a nice enough house, my health, a vehicle, even a fun little dog.

So any vision of an alternate path would have to exclude all that. Maybe it would be better even. Maybe it would be far worse. I wouldn't trade what I have for a billion dollars, so that removes most of the financial incentives, I guess.

[rexpop]

> Moving away from programming had an incredibly positive effect on my life. Almost everything that used to be awkward for me is easy now because of that one choice. Especially socialization, communication, speaking in public and with confidence, interpersonal skills in general.

I realize that you are possibly rationalizing and grieving a loss, ie employing a "sour grapes" perspective, but programming is not an inexorable obstacle to interpersonal skills. On the contrary, it can be—and has been for the gross bulk of my career—a highly social activity not unlike relating anecdotes at cocktail party while playing the piano. It's a true shame, and pet peeve, that coders are painted all with the brush of introversion, seclusion, isolation and singular, misanthropic focus.

[matheusmoreira]

I'm not saying developers are all like this. I'm saying I used to be like this. I was definitely one of those stereotypical introverts. I just didn't want to socialize at all. Computers were so much more interesting than people to me. As a kid I felt more comfortable just immersing myself in computing for 14 hours straight.

Only after I moved away from programming to a people-oriented profession did that change. I'm sure others will have different experiences and they're just as valid.

I don't think I have a sour grapes perspective at all. I'm proud of my choices. When I was writing that post it just became clear to me the consequences of those choices: what I gained and what I gave up. Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like had I made different choices but overall I'm happy with the path my life took. I still consider myself a failed programmer but that's okay.