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by smcin 1152 days ago
Your title really sounds more like "I still haven't figured out what I should do with my life: Why I find it hard to sincerely debate what I think my values and aspirations should be".

That's ok. Life is not an exam and you're not being graded. Not unless you consent to be, and certainly not against other people's criteria, figure out your own. When you say "performative" and "vicarious", sounds like you're afraid to articulate what you think might interest you. Douglas Adams, Mike Rowe, Sean Aiken ("The One-Week Job Project: One Man, One Year, 52 Jobs") etc. tried out a ton of stuff before they eventually found their calling.

For example, recast "II. my experiment with TFA" to "what I expected about the job, career, teaching, my aptitude, my motivations" vs "what I learned about each of those". If you want to update that section, I think people would be interested in rereading the details. Looking forward, how can you now apply what you've learned about all of that? Let your glass be half-full on that. Each of us has had experiences we were unsuited for, that's part of life, just don't become paralysed with analysis, too much analysis is as bad as none at all. (TFA famously has low retention rate, for multiple reasons, btw.)

1 comments

I came here to make this comment. Thank you for writing it so well.
Try the podcasts of e.g. Chris Williamson, for someone talking about how he figures life out for himself. You have to boil it down to picking a specific challenges and objectives, whether that's money, career, education, fitness, friendships, hobbies etc. Set some mini-goal, really small one, do it, then consider what you learned. But, ya gotta pick something to start with, today. Don't just sit around stressing and feeling inadequate. (Or if you do, look into mental health. But don't try to address that all on your own).

Also excellent: 'Atomic Habits' by James Clear [0] ("four laws of habit change: make it obvious, make it attractive, make it easy, and make it satisfying"). Convert vague intents ("I will find my dream job") into a set of actions ("I will try out/interview people who do N jobs in the next week, then evaluate what I think the pros and cons of each are").

But, start right now with some action, no matter how tiny and inconsequential. Do not spin your wheels.

Chris Williamson also emphasizes how crucial exercise and nutrition are as foundation to anything else.

[0]: https://hn.algolia.com/?q=%22atomic+habits%22