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by throwaway8503
1162 days ago
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The fact that context matters so much makes it hard to avoid concluding that such relationships are not friendships in any sense of the word, they're just pleasantries to make the other parts of the context - the reason why you're in whatever situation - go more smoothly. Agreeableness. More agreeable with some people than others, sure, but not friends. |
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However I do have an autistic trait that makes me forget easily people and things without context. My spouse regularly nags me to touch base with family as I just have my attention elsewhere. Tried various “friend managers” but they didn’t work as I rather pursue software than people.
E.g. I had multi year relationship when I gamed. I stopped gaming as much and those relationships deteriorated. I am godfather of son of a friend with whom I studied. Since we graduated we met twice or thrice.
And I know many people that go like that. Men’s friendships usually evolve around “do” rather than “discuss”. If there’s no shared “do” they fade away. Add above trait (which isn’t THAT uncommon) and building long term contextless relationship is very difficult.