[juvvel]

Much better than last year, which is what I had been hoping for. There's still a ways to go, but it seems the worst is behind me, finally. It was a long and dark period with extremely crippling anxiety. Ironically, what helped most was to stop trying so hard to get better, but not letting myself go either. A very tricky balance to achieve that mainly hinges on your ability to talk to yourself in a kind, encouraging way. As someone who has an avid aversion to advice that seems to be superficial feel-good fluff I rejected the "be kind to yourself" concept for a while. Which, I realize, was my inner bully hijacking my logical brain making me believe I was doing something "right" by being cynical and unforgiving with myself.