[WindyLakeReturn]

Given the extent that alcohol related establishments serve as the third space for young adults, at least in stereotypical US culture, I do wonder if there is a point where increasingly avoiding alcohol becomes detrimental. I'm thinking not merely bars, but social drinks with coworkers after work (with a chance of informal skip levels), social events where alcohol is a main attraction, and even college organizations where alcohol access (often before 21) is a primary motivator to join.

[rhaway84773]

When I wasn’t drinking, I was able to participate in 3rd places just fine while getting a club soda with lime.

Most people didn’t really care. The only reason I carried the club soda was because I didn’t want to explain for the 100th time why I wasnt drinking. And there’s always that one guy pushing you to drink even if you don’t want it, in which case the club soda basically looks like a vodka soda.

Of course that’s not a valid strategy if you have a problem with alcohol, and cannot be around it. But it’s useful if you just don’t like drinking but would still like to participate socially.

The only problem is that once people get kind of drunk you have to be really drunk yourself to find them tolerable. Drunk people are extremely boring if you’re sober. And there’s an easy solution there too. Just leave early.

[WindyLakeReturn]

I eventually started doing much the same, down to the club soda and lime, but I only did so after my young adult years had passed and even then I would receive a few comments that indicated a disapproval of me remaining fully sober while others around me were not. I am still puzzled by this because almost everyone around me was driving home that night, so either they weren't drinking enough for it to matter, or they were and yet their plans to drive drunk were less notable than my avoidance of alcohol. It was done in more of a joking way, but the sort of joking way that social norms are enforced because even a friendly callout is different than no callout at all.

[spacemadness]

I’ve experienced this as well and some people can get really weird about it. It’s often insecurity and/or narcissism in thinking you’re making a statement about someone’s life choices. Maybe they do in fact have a problem and you’ve caused them a moment of reflection they don’t want to have. It’s never fun dealing with other peoples neuroticism while you’re trying to have a good time and couldn’t care less they are drinking. The ones I know that hit the bottle the hardest are usually the ones making a big deal about it.