| > I'm happy to hear about your self control. Actually, my self control is really quite bad. I'm terrible at doing difficult or unpleasant things and am very prone to low-effort, self-destructive hedonism. But as a result I have a very intense fear of addiction because I know I would struggle to pull myself back from it - I've never drank alcohol or done any recreational drugs for that exact reason. I was very hesitant about pursuing potentially lifelong medication, I requested the smallest possible starting dose from my doctor, and I don't intend to ever increase it beyond what I currently take (10mg/day). On a philosophical level I still don't _like_ that I'm taking medication, but the benefits are significant enough that I tolerate it. And perhaps ironically, ADHD medicine actually helps me push past my lazy hedonism and do things that are necessary but dull. (I would note that it doesn't make me _want_ to do boring things, nor do I think it's supposed to if dosed correctly. Even on medication, I'd still rather play video games than do work. But it at least makes it possible for me to sit down and work anyway. Whereas before, every day was an exercise in staring futilely at the screen while begging my brain to do literally anything.) > I wish I were effective as a person naturally, I'm sure you can relate. Very much so. I really wish my productivity wasn't dependent on medicine that a) I need to remember to even take b) Has annoying negative side effects c) Is a controlled substance, with all the hassle that brings But unfortunately, I guess that wasn't meant to be. |