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This reminds me of my favorite Usenet Oracle where all the upgrades give you what you assumed you already had with the lower account: The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:
> how do i switch to using netscape browser with my pipeline account?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} Thank you for your question. As your Internet Service Provider,
} we are pleased to assist in your exploration of the computing world's
} fastest growing realm.
}
} As you have no doubt observed, the explosion of the Web has made
} your existing command line account rather limited. To better serve
} your expanding needs, we are pleased to offer the following tiered
} service packages:
}
} Baseline Account
} This is our most basic account. You get a shell prompt. On-line
} help is disabled. Transfer protocol is 'cat'.
} $5.00/month
}
} Extra(tm) Account
} All Baseline features, plus:
} o On-line help
} o On-line manual pages (first 20 accesses free)
} o XModem (checksum)
} $7.50/month
}
} Super(tm) Account
} All Extra(tm) features, plus:
} o Unlimited manual page reference
} o Lower case support
} o 8-bit connection
} o XModem (CRC)
} $10.00/month + $1.00/hour
}
} SuperExtra(tm) Account
} All Super(tm) features, plus:
} o Command line editing (backspace, ^X)
} o 24-hour access privileges
} o XModem (1K blocks), YModem
} o Free outbound mail
} $12.00/month + $1.25/hour
}
} Master(tm) Account
} All SuperExtra(tm) features, plus:
} o Free inbound mail
} o Newsgroup access
} o ZModem
} $15.00/month + $1.65/hour
}
} MasterExtra(tm) Account
} All Master(tm) features, plus:
} o Configurable newline termination
} o Apple Newton(tm) support
} o Personal netnews killfiles enabled
} o 9600 bps access privileges
} o Kermit
} $20.00/month + $2.10/hour
}
} MasterSuper(tm) Account
} All MasterExtra(tm) features, plus:
} o Account password protection
} o Shift-lock support
} o Access to code development tools (vi, emacs, EDLIN,
} etc.)
} o UUCP
} $22.00/month + $2.50/hour + $0.01/Kbyte
}
} MasterSuperExtra(tm) Account
} All MasterSuper(tm) features, plus:
} o Access to additional code development tools (cc, as,
} etc.)
} o 80 column support
} o 512K storage
} o Tint control
} o Gopher
} $25.00/month + $2.75/hour + $0.05/Kbyte
}
} Executive(tm) Account
} All MasterSuperExtra(tm) features, plus:
} o Access to compiled output (a.out)
} o 2048K disk storage (additional to 512K on tape)
} o 600 DPI
} o SLIP/PPP
} $50.00/month + $4.99/hour + $0.198/Kbyte
}
} We are also pleased to announce our first account specially
} tailored for businesses:
}
} Entrepreneur(tm) Account
} o Your choice of shell (csh, tcsh, ksh, bash, etc.)
} o SLIP, PPP (yielding direct FTP and HTTP connections)
} o 14400 bps, 28800 bps, ISDN, or leased line connections available
} o 20M storage on RAID array with mirrored backup (additional
} storage for extra charge)
} o Full suite of development tools (yacc, lex, sed, awk, perl,
} etc.)
} o DNS registration (become your own domain on the net!)
} o Complete PGP tool set
} o CNID reverse-lookup phone database
} o USGS maps collated and annotated by zip code and demographics
} (in Postscript and DVI)
} o Access to all our members' registration data (excepting those
} who explicitly requested at least three times to be excluded)
} o Public relations tools (SpamTool, with NoCem evasion heuristics)
} o Libel/slander control facilities (canceltool)
} o Intelligent mail filter suites
} o 24-hour phone support
}
} $300.00/month!
} (Must be registered as a commercial business within your state to
} qualify)
}
} We think you'll agree these new options offer unparallelled
} flexibility, and that no one else offers a better deal for direct
} Internet access. We're pleased you've chosen us, and hope will
} continue to stay with us. See you on the Net!
}
} You owe The Oracle an account on best.com.
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